so i’ve started the process of reworking some of my old photos from last semester. i’ve decided to use a snoot to spotlight my characters so there’s an overall quality of darkness in all of the images. this was suggested to me to tie the images together better and i feel it’s working thus far. at least they’re getting positive reviews on the photo exchange blog. 

*jumps with glee*

in other news, i’m totally slacking this semester. my boss has been without a secretary for a couple of months now and i feel that i’m letting my responsibilities there overshadow my academic goals. i cant keep up the effort to handle both and i’m terrified that i’m not going to pass this semester.

oh, and 80s nights at the v. that needs to stop taking priority as well…


i woke this morning to a fabulous article Brent had forwarded me examining NDEs and the different sides to the scientific understanding and spiritual understanding. the article is here if you’re interested:

considering the majority of you probably won’t click on the link, i want to point out a specific part of the article that caught my eye:

“There is a core experience that is essentially the same across cultures. Christians don’t see Hindu gods and Hindus don’t see Jesus, so there is some kind of cultural overlay, but we are dealing with people attempting to put an ineffable experience into words. There’s a common core that has as its basis the fact that we all have very similar brains, so when things go awry we are likely to have similar experiences.”


the concept of life after death is something i have always been interested in, but never really took the time to explore until recently. a few months ago i was sharing some thoughts (and some beer) with a couple of friends from my hometown, and we were discussing religion vs. science and what each has to do with the afterlife. i remember this specifically because one of my friends turned to me and said,

“i don’t really understand the mechanics of either side. i don’t believe in God or religion, but i also could never understand the purpose of life if we cease to exist after we die.”

meaning that while he may not be a spiritual man, he certainly believes in the afterlife. now, i was raised in church and spent 3 days a week for 15 years devoted to reading the Bible and studying Christianity. while my thoughts on the Bible differ greatly from others (we’ll save that for  a different entry on a different day) i still very much believe in God and the possibility of Heaven and Hell.

it never dawned on me that people who do not follow a faith (whether Christianity, Buddhism, Hinduism, Doaism, etc) still consider the possibility of an afterlife. what do they imagine the afterlife to consist of? how do their thoughts differ from my own?

i’m becoming obsessed with death. i thought i could take a month off and forget about school for a while, but as soon as i turned in my last paper i instantly wanted to research for next semester.

wtf? i want a break!

whew. so my review is out of the way and i have quite a few months to prepare for my next one.

all in all, i think it went well. and by well, i mean i received a great deal of suggestions. over the next few months i need to narrow them down and decide which i would like to take, which i need to disregard, and which i can work with in developing something new.

now i just have 2 paper, a presentation, and a show and this semester is officially OVER!!


*hugs nearest beer bottle*

the semester is finally coming to an end this week, and i could not be more excited to see it come.

i only have 8 more things to finish by friday and i’m hopeful that i’ll get half of those scratched off the list by the time i go to work this evening. *crosses fingers*

i’ve been thinking recently of returning to the darkroom next semester for my current series. at the beginning of the year i felt that color was too important to disregard, but after examining and reexamining and rereexamining my images, i’ve realized there are only a few that necessitate color. 

i miss the darkroom. i miss using film!!! half of the love i have for photography is received during the process of making the prints, and this semester i only have to print a transparency and transfer that image using acetone. the process isn’t enough. 

i dont know. hopefully i can get my medium format fixed over break and just begin shooting using both film and digital next semester…

there are two weeks left of classes. two weeks. and although i have a giant list of things to take care of before i can determine this semester as completed, i’m starting to calm down for the first time in months.

i took my GRE yesterday and missed making my goal by 40 points. that blows. like, hard. i was pissed and upset and depressed and spiraled through the whole “i’m not good enough, i’m not smart enough” phase until finally settling on a bottle of wine and a religious debate with a friend. that helped. i feel more energized and ready to face the world today than i have in months. 

my kitsch paper is awesome. i’m too opinionated and there’s still quite a bit of work to be done, but i’m excited and i enjoyed writing it, surprisingly.

speaking of being happy, i LOOOOOOOOOOOVE my smith hall project now! i’ve shot a completely different idea every damn week of this semester, and today – the day before it is to be displayed – i came up with an idea that just makes me smile. i’ve told about 10 people so far and haven’t even received a giggle, but i think it’s funny and that’s enough for me.

my jerry uelsmann book finally arrived and will hopefully grant me the ability to finish my kitsch paper this weekend. i had really planned on finishing everything over the week, but i went to my hometown for the first time this semester and ended up spending the week drinking instead.


i will surely pay for that this coming week. awesome.


i’m very apprehensive to hang my work in the gallery this coming friday. considering our class time, it wont really give us the chance to discuss our finished projects before they are in the gallery for all the world to see. i need to figure out how to print the images as well. i really dont want them to be framed, but hanging digital prints without frames seems a bit too loose for me.

i’m tired. i dont really know what i’m saying. my retail job is biting my ass.

i’ve seriously fallen behind on this whole post-a-blog-a-day thing. odd, considering how much i love to talk.

anyhoo, i have two new images to add to my series. one is of a hungarian soccer player who jumped out of a window. not only did a find a soccer player to photograph, but he’s also from hungary. *applauds self*

the other is of Assia Wevill. she was the mistress to sylvia plath’s husband at the time of sylvia’s suicide, and years later – after living with the ghost of sylvia – committed suicide herself. she killed her child and placed her on a spare mattress, and then took a bottle of pills and killed herself. i really, really like my image for this person and i’m excited to show it. 

to be honest (and hey, it’s okay if i’m biased) i’m generally excited about all of my images for this series. i’ve been wanting to work on this for a couple of years now and finally have the access to follow through. i am positively terrified for my 9 hour review (i despise public speaking) and can rarely say what i’m thinking, but let’s keep those fingers crossed that i make it through.



also, i still hate ansel adams.